As good as it gets

As good as it gets

Just thought of posting this not so great conversation between Moiz and Snehal

Warning : read at ur own risk

Day 1

Snehal : yo moiz
Moiz : yo here or yo spz?
Snehal : yo spz man
Moiz : yo had yo brk fst
Snehal : there is no place to go here man. no twaddi babbis here
Moiz : i was talking about the food we eat, not food for thought
Snehal : no good food here too
Moiz : bad, so u got a PC hmmm
Snehal : ys but set up is not over yet. M logged into my mbp pc
Moiz : o ok
Moiz : by d way, jus got the news that we will be shifting to Airoli in mid Aug
Snehal : see i told u .Mujhe raag de raha tha na nahin jayenge karke
Moiz : also, MBP 4 will be the first bldg to evacuate, and we will be the first proj. :)
Snehal : ha ha ha ha
Moiz : i donno how r they gonna manage
Snehal : yahan jaise manage kiya .waise hi wahan karenge. BTW twaddi ko dekha kya aaj?
Moiz : no, did'nt went 4 brk fst, will catch her at lunch
Snehal : catch her. Saale aukaad mein reh .smjha kya
Moiz : :D:D:D jali jali tapi tapi
Snehal : abbe .woh abhi sochti rahegi ki where's that one guy who used to shy away from ogling at me. Uss mein kuch to baat thi
Moiz : don't talk about ur ogle factor i know who u r :/
Snehal : ha ha ha .jali abhi
Moiz : abhi ki kyon jalegi? usne to twadi pabi ko dekha bhi nahi
Snehal : phir teri kyu jal rahi hai if twaddi babbi thinks like this abt me
Moiz : sneh can read thoughts :DDDD, its enuf that u can just read
Snehal : chotte tis just that i m a lovable kind of guy.
Moiz : yeah, u r so lovable that they had a Bra launched in your name :D
Snehal : well they always wanted me to be close to the heart of a woman
Moiz : kaminey, i know wat u want to be close to ;)
Snehal : just the heart dost ;)
Moiz : yeah, tell khare abt it
Snehal : i think evrybody in the world knows abt it except u
Moiz : talk to the hand
Snehal : ha ha ha ha . U can never accept facts can u
Moiz : wake up snehal, the things u've considered facts since birth are actually illusions, we all know wat ur fate will be finally, bloody arranged marraige
Snehal : abbe arranged nikaah chup reh samjha na.
Moiz : arranged marraige......... and that too wid monali :DDDDD
Snehal : nice joke chotte .twill b wil pallavi or parineeta
Moiz : wid monali...... and that too we will arrange it :DDDD
Snehal : no re wid pari or pallo.also it will love first then arranged
Moiz : forget marraige, jus try and call them wid this name in front of them and they will hang u, till death
Snehal : chotte then they will die too. Coz we have pledged to be together dead or alive
Moiz : this is the worst joke i have heard frm u, it does'nt even make me frown
Snehal : i told u .u not man ehuf to accept the truth
Moiz : alice, u truly live in a wonderland :D
Snehal : chotte after i marry either 1 of them i will b in wonderland
Moiz : i pity u, u don't know u still are, ur marraige can only happen in wonderland
Snehal : chotte just wait n watch
Moiz : yeah yeah, the world will see wid me
Moiz : so, when r u proposing?
Snehal : u'll know very soon chotte
Moiz : i cant stop smiling :))))........
Snehal : chotte u'll stop smiling wen u'll see me smiling
Moiz : i can only imagine ur ass kicked :D
Snehal : u imagined wrong
Moiz : lets wait n watch
Snehal : chotte ek baad yaad rakhna. Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge and i m a dilwala
Moiz : who said u r dilwala, u r sickwala
Snehal : again ur mistaken. M a dilwala aur dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
Moiz : if in patni, soon gonna become a rickwala
Snehal : chotte dilwaale tha,hai aur rahoonga
Moiz : not to forget chamdiwala
Snehal : y u saying all ur names
Moiz : sacchai kadwi hoti hai dost, accept it
Snehal : thats wot i m tellin u to do
Moiz : i have, but u r still in ur dream world
Snehal : see u still not accepting d truth
Moiz : instead of fighting on whos not accepting the truth, lets have a third party decide wats the truth
Snehal : the problem is that the third party u will suggest cannot accept the truth too
Moiz : :-DDDD ok, who d u sujjest then?
Snehal : me .myself. My alter ego will decide
Moiz : this is alter ego itself, how many alter ego's do u have. how abt Vinod's or HP's alter ego huh
Snehal : 2 more. snehal the great and Snehal the greatest .This is great speakin
Moiz : snehal was enuf
Snehal : so finally haaar mann raha hai tu
Moiz : no ways
Snehal : but u said na enuf
Moiz : i said snehal was enuf and we don't need non existing characters such as snehal the great and Snehal the greatest
Snehal : chots u'll hav to live with them
Moiz : puhleez, u live wid them
Snehal : i m living wid them
Moiz : i told vinod and ani abt ur imaginations, they r in complete agreement wid me
Snehal : they r baised
Moiz : i had called up HP, he thinks u've lost it
Snehal : lost wot?
Moiz : brains, but i told him u don't have one
Snehal : chotte if i lose a bit of something that i have in abundance then its not a problem
Moiz : if u have abundant brain then i m prince of wales
Snehal : okie if u say so. But whch one blue,sperm or humming or killer
Moiz : i wrote wales not whales, u lost ur eyes too i guess
Snehal : chots but they sound the same na
Moiz : no their is a prominent 'h' pronounced in whales


And it went on and on till 2 days describing about the mouth structure and tounge movements and pronounciation of different words u can't even think of.Snehal can add if he has rest of the chat logs

Day 2

Snehal : no try saying wales and then say w-hales. No difference in the mouth struture when ur saying bth coz the h is silent
Moiz : nope the h is not silent in whales, mouth structure can be same because its same for many words
Snehal : who said.say orange.Mouth structure is different than mouth structure when u say whales
Moiz : but its same for ways
Snehal : no there is no mention of l in ways but is there in whales and wales
Moiz : but the mouth structure is same
Snehal : no the mouth structure when u say l changes if l is not silent
Moiz : no it does'nt
Snehal : yes it does try it
Moiz : no it does'nt, tried
Snehal : see when u say wales or whales ur tongue will touch the roof of ur mouth or teeth when u try and pronounce the l which is not silent. When u say ways the tongue touches the roof of the mouh or teeth when u start pronouncing the s.try it
Moiz : exactly, the toungue changes but the mouth structure remains the same, when u lip read u cant distinguish between wales and ways
Snehal : i cn by seeing the time when the toungue startsb to moveq
Moiz : u can't c the tongue when u lip read
Snehal : i can
Moiz : no u can't, ur eye sight is not good, proved earlier, u cant c wales and whales written differntly
Snehal : who said i ahd said that they r same by spelling. I said that they are same bcoz of prnounciation
Moiz : but i never prounced it, because we are text chatting, so u shud atleast have that much brains to distinguish and act accordingly
Snehal : when i read what ur typing i pronounce it so i guess ur wrong
Moiz : who cares if u pronounce it or not, it was i who wrote it
Snehal : so wot? It was i who read it
Moiz : if u had read it, and u can see that it was written "wales" not "whales" then u should'nt have asked me wat type of whale it is
Snehal : my wish i can ask u nehting
Moiz : bhadak mat ja, LTA abhi bhi nahi milta wahan par
Snehal : bhadak gaya nahin hu main. Agar bhadak jaaat tha toh tere saat chat kaise karta
Moiz : u forgot tera PC shared hai
Snehal : bhadak patni domain mein nahin aata toh pc shared rehke faayda nahin hai
Moiz : bhadak patni domain mein he hai, abhi abhi naya office khola hai wahan par
Snehal : ok i dont know i havent been there. I guess u have
Moiz : again bhadak gaya tu, itni baar ja raha hai aur bol raha hai i havent been there
Snehal : see ur goin there not me
Moiz : i know u have a season ticket to bhadak, iska matlab ye nahi ki tu office bunk karega
Snehal : i m in office so i cannot be bunking and be at office at the same time coz it is imposssible for one peron to be at two different places at the same time so as i m in office ,i m not bunking which means that assumption that i have a season pass to bhadak and that i m bunking office is wrong.
Moiz : earlier proved that patni also has a office at bhadak
Snehal : u never proved it u just made a statement and if u have forgotten kannon saboot mangti hai
Moiz : u are the live gawah of it, in this chat itself u went there 3 times
Snehal : ur mistaken dude. I havent gone there at all
Moiz : u have gone there, i m the gawah of it
Snehal : u dint see me.how can u be the gawah
Moiz : ur chat text clearly states that u've gone to bhadak
Snehal : kanoon chashmadeet gawah mangti hai. Ur not one
Moiz : chashma to tujhe lagna chahiye, barabar dikhayi nahi de raha hai tujhe
Snehal : aisa kaun bola
Moiz : aisa main bola, we r not into conference chat
Snehal : who said we r in conference chat
Moiz : to phir aur kaun bolega, main hi bola


and then we got disconnected, we are still looking in the problem, i guess the chat server gave up :)

Kya Hoga Nimmo, Nemo Aur Mattu Ka

Kya Hoga Nimmo, Nemo Aur Mattu Ka

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A debt of gratitude to Snehal, HP and everyone from PPP batch for their belief in this project.

To my friend Asif, for his enthusiasm and unflagging effort.

To the legendary Kurt, for convincing me to write blogs.

To Mattu, for her gracious tour through her life.

To Patni Computer Systems for providing me Internet access.

To my Manager who does'nt know anything about it.

Thanks also to Nimmo, Nemo, Veerappan, Mithun Da, Rajnikanth, Manoj Kumar, Rajesh Khanna, Dev Anand, Tushar Kapoor, Harry Potter, Dhoni and Angoor.

FACT

After getting a lot of bashing from Mattu (yes, she literally bashed me for everything, from Chucking in Carrom, to playing TT with a Hot babe, even though Mattu did not know how to hit a striker, or how to hold a cue stick, or how to serve a TT ball. Not to forget about the romour she spread about me marrying and having kids with Moi-Sne-Menor), I decided to take revenge, not only for me, but also for my dear friends, Dhoni and Harry Potter. So hear I am, writing my very first blog in cold blood.

Only one question looms: Kya Hoga Nimmo, Nemo Aur Mattu Ka?

AUTHOR’S NOTE

References to the life and times of Nimmo and Nemo are entirely factual. They can still be seen today on Star One and DVD's respectively.

Mattu is also Factual.

So hold on your breath and get ready for...

Kya Hoga Nimmo, Nemo Aur Mattu Ka

PROLOGUE

Somewhere in South India there lived three friends, named Nimmo -daughter of notorious crimal and smuggler of Sandal Wood and Ivory Tusks, yes you guessed it right Veerappan- , Nemo (pronounced Nimoh) -Son of veteran actor Mithun da- , and Mattu -Daughter of another industry veteran Rajnikanth.

The trio were having difficult times in life, their thoughts clashing with their parents, usual stuff.

CH 1- Last day at the Kholliage

Nimmo, Nemo and Mattu had decided to meet at a common place so that they can go together to the farewell party for the class of '04. While on the way to the kholliage (college in south indian accent) they decided to disscuss their future. Mattu said "I am going to become a doctor, but my dad want's me to become a software engineer and defy laws of W3C, just as he defies laws of gravity in his..." Nemo interrupted "Tell me, my dad want's me to be a hammer, a hathoda you see, he is even making a catch phrase for me, it goes something like

'Dikhne mein bevda,

bhaagne mein ghoda,

aur maarne mein hathoda'."

Every one was quiet for a while, then Nemo started again "What about you Nimmo what do you wanna do after studies". Nimmo got exited, no one had asked her thoughts before, everyone knew she was dumb (most dumber from the trio), she said "Me, lemme think....." she never gave an answer, Nemo and Mattu thought this was never going to come and continued their conversation. Nemo said "but Mattu what are you gonna specialize in? you are good at nothing", Mattu frowned, she thought it was true, but said "Can I specialize in saying 'Sick' in different ways?". Nemo and Nimmo were dumbstruck.

As soon as their conversation went on to become weirder they realized they are in front of the gates of Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan Kholliage of Smugling, Acting and Hamming. At the gates Angoor (Mattu's boyfriend) was waithing for them, he waved at them and they waved back. Nimmo and Nemo went on to see other friends and Mattu went to Angoor (Langoor ke moh mein Angoor, Khuda ki kudrat).

At the college (we will call it college hence forth, its hard to pronounce Kholliage so many times), Nimmo, Nemo and Mattu had taken Hamming, Acting and Smugling respectively as their major subjects in final year, completely opposite as their fathers would have desired them to take. Nimmo was very good at Hamming, she had done her project on Manoj Khanna (A mix of Manoj Kumar and Rajesh Khanna). She had impressed the External Examiner Dev Anand by her skills. Nemo was also good at acting (He was duped as the next superstar Nimoh by their HOD Tushar Kapoor (He had also suggested him to change his name to Kemo for good luck)). Mattu was not so good at smuggling (I should say, not even). All she did for her project was to smuggle pirated CD's of Himess Bhai, played them aload in college and got punished for it. Not to forget, she also lip sung the lyrics of the songs (Angoor got impressed of one of the songs and proposed her). Nimmo and Nemo always wondered where did she got those lyrics from.

The Farewell party was as usual, "Boring" with speeches, from the Principal, Peons, Typist Sandra aur pata nahi kiska baccha.

The Lunch time was the best part, they again started their disscussion about their future. They decided that they will go their way, against what their parents had thought for them, but they also knew that they are not gonna get any financial help from their parents for their not so great ideas. So They decided on a Plan to get money to fund their respective purposes in life.

A Plan which is going to get them Doomed.

Dekhte hain kya hota hai Nimmo, Nemo aur Mattu ka......Hum Log.